On February 23, I became a Military Mama upon the birth of our daughter, Claire. What makes a Military Mama different? A lot! This post will inform you on what a military mama needs to give birth and the challenges to expect.
Include Other Military Mamas
The most important thing I learned through pregnancy and delivery is to include other military mamas in my journey. Pregnancy is hard, and becoming a mother while isolated from family is even harder. It is essential to reach out to other military mamas for support during pregnancy and postpartum. For me, joining a spouse group while pregnant was a game changer. You can join so many different formal and informal spouse groups based on your interests! How to start? Get on Facebook. Search your military installation, followed by the word ‘group’ and you will see DOZENS of groups, from workout groups to homeschool groups, there is a community for you.
I joined PWOC at JBSA Fort Sam Houston after a friend brought me along last summer. The women have been the cornerstone of my experience as a military spouse. I looked forward to our meetings every single week, and these women have become my closest friends. Near the end of my pregnancy, these ladies planned a surprise baby shower for me! Not only did they spoil me with homemade brunch, but they brought diapers and wipes. We have yet to buy diapers and wipes and will likely not need any until Claire is a year old! They also wrote me words of advice on little cut-out hearts that I will cherish forever. These generous women made me feel less alone from my hometown friends and family, and part of a new family.
And trust me, when your little one is crying for seemingly no reason at 2:30 am, those cut-out hearts were my saving grace.
Include Your Spouse’s Squad/Unit
My husband and I did not keep this a secret at any point of our pregnancy. But, I understand that some couples are more comfortable keeping their pregnancy to themselves. Every family needs to do what works best for them. For us, talking about our pregnancy made us feel supported. Not only did they support my husband in the office, but his coworkers threw us a baby shower weeks before Claire was born. We played games, ate pizza, cake, and opened their sweet gifts. We were blown away by his squadron’s generosity and it was one of the most special memories of my pregnancy. If you want to learn more about navigating a pregnancy as a military spouse, see my tips Pregnancy as a Military Spouse.
What a Military Mama Needs to Give Birth in the Hospital
If you are delivering your baby at a military hospital, there are some things you cannot forget to bring. For us Military Mamas, below are some things you’ll need. A note here: I birthed Claire at Brooke Army Medical Center or BAMC and had the greatest experience. I literally wouldn’t change a thing about my experience at Labor and Delivery or Mother/Baby. This is my first child, so I DO NOT have anything to compare my experience with. But the nurses and doctors were very supportive of my birth plan, open to our desires, and incredibly diligent. I went past 41 weeks with my daughter, and it required an extra layer of caution – which they executed perfectly.
For a list on what to bring for baby I found this one from The Bump to be helpful.
The List
- Military ID Card – this is standard with any military installation/hospital. But imagine if you forgot your ID and could not get to the hospital because your ID was in a different purse!?
- Parking Pass – if you are delivering at a military hospital, it’s likely pretty massive. You will receive a parking pass in advance of going into labor so that you can park in designated maternity spaces! If you’re in intense labor like I was though, you’ll most likely be dropped off at the door and pushed in a wheelchair!
- Registration Packet – You will also receive this ahead of delivery. I was given the registration packet at 28 weeks. We had the option of bringing this to the hospital beforehand (which I highly recommend!) But if you can’t get there in advance, do not forget to bring your registration packet to the hospital when going into labor.
Bonus Points if You Bring
- Binder or Folder – Maybe you already have a binder where you are storing documents from your OBGYN appointments. I had a binder to store all these papers, including my birth plan. Bring this to Labor and Delivery, and if you don’t have one, bring an empty binder or folder, because you are going to be given lots of important paperwork. We needed to make a call to her pediatrician and the number was on discharge papers.
- Sentimental Items – My husband had a special baseball-style jersey from a previous squadron with Rescue written across the front. As a Combat Search and Rescue (CSAR) Flight Engineer, this was an important piece for us to bring. It was what he wore to the hospital and it was so special to have photos of him holding our newborn while wearing it. Plus it made skin-to-skin contact with Daddy easy!
The Challenges of Giving Birth as a Military Mama
Not going to lie. It was difficult to give birth to my daughter and not have my mother or grandmother with me. Being military mamas means we aren’t ever living close to family and often experience the most important moments of our lives without our own family members with us for support. I was fortunate enough to have my mother-in-law with us, and I know not all military mamas are that lucky. Some women have to experience childbirth without their spouses. These women are the epitome of strength.
If you do have a family member in town, you will need to plan a few logistics out ahead of time. My mother-in-law was a God sent. My mother-in-law came to the hospital with us and helped every step of the way. In order for her to come and go from our house to the hospital over those two days, she needed a visitor’s pass. We were able to get one at the visitor’s center located just outside the hospital gate prior to delivery so she had hospital access by herself.
In the days and weeks that follow the birth of your baby, you will need that support. Maybe it’s a meal train from your spouse’s squadron or a group you belong to. Or it’s a phone call to a friend to talk about any postpartum feelings you may be having. You cannot do it all by yourself, so finding a community or building your own is crucial during this precious time of your life. And I promise you, your tribe is out there, wherever you are stationed. For more on how to find friends on your installation, see 5 Things You Need to Do After Marrying Into the Military.
