A month after my first military move, I found out I was pregnant. I panicked. Don’t do what I did. Learn how to navigate pregnancy as a military spouse from my lessons learned!
New Military Spouse’s Journey to a Positive Pregnancy Test
By spring 2024, I had been taking pregnancy tests monthly in anticipation of finding out we were growing our little family. The months came and went, followed by the emotional roller coaster that comes with trying to conceive. I had been a few days late, so per usual, I brought out the last First Response stick from my stash. And it was negative. So aside from the post-negative-test meltdowns I was becoming familiar with, I went on with my life.
Then while grocery shopping at HEB, I turned down the family planning aisle, wondering if I should buy another pregnancy test since I had used my last one the week before. Then I realized. I took a pregnancy test a week ago, AFTER I was already a week late? Does this mean I am now 2 WEEKS LATE? But my last test was negative? I threw a single test in my cart and headed home.
And guess what? That test was positive. I immediately freaked out and realized my life was about to change. Or was it? I only purchased one test. Don’t women in the movies pee on at least ten pregnancy tests before drawing any conclusions? I braved the 4:00 pm traffic and went back to HEB. More impressively, I did this while on the phone with my husband and convinced him I forgot Oregano needed for a dinner recipe.
I sped back home in time to have my first test confirmed. And when my husband walked through the door, I made him pick a hand, both hands containing positive pregnancy tests. I’ll never forget that moment in time where we were connected unconditionally by the digital results that flashed on the test screen.
And then the thought entered my mind. Now what? How does pregnancy work as a military spouse?
How to See an OB on Your Installation When You Find Out You’re pregnant as a military spouse
Being a new military spouse meant I had never made a doctor’s appointment as a Tricare beneficiary. I didn’t even know where to start. My husband told me to call my PCM. Great, where do I find that information? I looked up Tricare PCM and found a million different links that looked legit, but each had SO MUCH information in government jargon that I was overwhelmed.
Ultimately, all links led back to a site called milConnect – but when I clicked the option to ‘view my plan.’ That never loaded. All. Morning. Long. It took two Tech Support phone calls for me to wrap my head around what was happening. I needed to create an account first through a site called MHS Genesis. If you already have this account, great! You are ten steps ahead of where I was!
Through MHS Genesis, you can see your medical history, view your PCM, and send them messages to schedule appointments. On MHS Genesis, you can schedule an OB visit – this means you are only coming in to confirm the pregnancy by taking another urine test. This is step 1. I sent a message to my PCM, but did not receive a message back instantly (and the waiting was killing me).
Or, Phone a Friend
Because I was so flustered and anxious, I remembered having met a fellow spouse at an event called Arrive and Thrive (more on this in ‘5 Things You Need To Do After Marrying Into the Military’. We made casual conversation at our table, and she shared subsequently that she was pregnant with her second child. I texted her immediately. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to make friends with other spouses. Spouses understand that we are all in this together and are very willing to help each other!
In doing so, I realized the first person I shared my pregnancy with outside of my marriage was this new friend. That is how special and important these relationships can be! Without her advice, I would’ve probably ended up going to the emergency room screaming, ‘I think I’m pregnant but don’t know what I’m doing!’
Her advice, and what she did, was go to the hospital on our base during Women’s Health walk-in hours. She sent me a screenshot of when those were. As soon as I saw her text I got into my car, grateful for the direction. It was such a painless process and everything has been seamless since. Once on base and at the OB Women’s Health Clinic, I took their urine test and left, awaiting their confirmation call that came less than an hour later.
From there, they diligently scheduled next steps for me which included an hour-long Pregnancy Orientation with other newly pregnant women. The orientation outlined what the next nine months would look like, and they sent me home with a folder of resources. We each met one on one with an OB nurse and shared our medical history. Then we went on to the labs together for our first (of many!) blood draws.
What You Can Expect from Your Military Installations OB Team
Personally, I have received great care during my pregnancy while stationed at JBSA (Joint Base San Antonio). Since we are at a Joint Base, this means I’ll receive my prenatal care at my local hospital on Lackland AFB, but will deliver my baby at Brooke Army Medical Hospital, which is an army hospital on Fort Sam Houston.
My visits are very standard and pleasant! Usual triage, mental health checks, symptoms tracking, glucose challenge, ultrasounds, and everything you’d expect to receive during a pregnancy. I see the same midwife each appointment, so it does feel very personalized. There’s a general Tricare nurse’s hotline – 800-TRICARE (874-2273) and chat option for any of your questions, but you will receive a number to a local nurses hotline, specific to pregnancy only. This is for non-emergencies only, but they will get back to you within 24-hours. And yup, they’ve always gotten back to me on time!
FREE Resources You Can Receive During Pregnancy as a Military Spouse
My favorite perk of pregnancy as a military spouse, are all the FREE resources! There are classes for you and your spouse, baby showers, events with free giveaways, and more! Make sure you take full advantage of these – I know my friends outside of the military would love to have these free support programs. Plus, I’ve done most of them, and feel WAY more prepared for birth and motherhood that I would have without these resources.
One of my Favorite Pregnancy Resources as a Military Spouse
New Parent Support Program (NPSP)- this incredible program offers parental education and support. You do NOT need to be a first-time parent to utilize this program! The NPSP is available to all branches, but if there isn’t one at your installation, click the link and view the bottom of this page to see other ways to receive this support. Some classes include:
- Car Seat 101 – (tried and true!) 3 out of 4 car seats are incorrectly installed – that was news to me. This was a super beneficial class and has increased my confidence with all things relating to car seats.
- Dads the Basics – My husband signed up for this course that teaches dads how to support their partner during pregnancy, labor, and after the baby is born.
- Infant Massage – a Massage Instructor teaches parents how to communicate and calm babies through soothing touch – plus there’s several health benefits.
- Gottman’s Bringing Home Baby Workshop – A workshop dedicated to showing parents how to cope with challenges after baby comes home.
- Playgroups – There’s weekly playgroups for parents and their children ages birth through preschool!
- Home Visitation – Maybe the best part about NPSP. Their nurses will meet you at your home to address any issues you may be having. Whether it’s nutrition, sibling dynamics, breastfeeding, sleep, you name it, their team will support you in your home.
More Free Resources to Expecting Military Spouses
USO Special Delivery – The USO or United Service Organization hosts baby showers year-round at various USO locations/installations. My friend and I took a drive to one taking place at Naval Air Station Corpus Christi in August and it was so worth it! There were games, cake, presents, and such a wonderful community of moms and expectant moms. Plus you can attend one even up to 6-months postpartum. If one isn’t coming near you they offer virtual Baby Showers as well!
Bundles for Babies – This class is designed to educate expecting active duty families on financial management, newborn dental care, infant healthcare, and so much more! Plus those who complete the three hour class will receive a gift card from AFAS of the Air Force Aid Society. Check with your Military Family Readiness/Army Community Services/Marine Corps Family Services/Fleet and Family Support centers for their baby support classes-all branches offer, but it will be called something different!!
Lactation Classes or SimpliFed – These are available for me through the installation hospital I will be delivering at. I am sure these exist at all military hospitals, so be sure you ask your provider! Or, SimpliFed is a baby feeding service that is COVERED by Tricare. Your appointments are virtual, and up to 6 of them are covered, at no cost to you, beginning in pregnancy.
Childbirth Classes – At the hospital where I will be giving birth, we are required to attend a ‘birthing class’ after 28 weeks of pregnancy. We are excited to attend this at the end of the month! The classes educate you on signs of labor/when to come to the hospital, what to bring to the hospital, what to expect in labor, pain management options, and a tour of the L&D unit.
For All the Mama’s Out There
Pregnancy and motherhood can be extremely difficult under any circumstances. But can be amplified as a military spouse. There is help out there and the easiest resource is to call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline1-833-TLC-MAMA. According to the Policy Center for Maternal Mental Health, maternal suicide is responsible for 20% perinatal maternal deaths. Do not suffer alone, there is support for mothers and expectant mothers.
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline – 1-833-TLC-MAMA
Whether you’re an expecting mom or just planning for the unexpected, I hope you find this information helpful, and know that there is so much out there to support family during this exciting time!
Am I missing something? Great! Comment on your pregnancy tips and experiences as a military spouse.
