This will be my first Thanksgiving away from my family. Here’s how I’m celebrating the holidays as a military spouse, and how military families can give and receive help this holiday season.
Thanksgiving as a Military Spouse
I truly never thought I’d be spending a holidays as a military spouse apart from my family. Some days, being a military spouse is an adventure. Other days, it’s hard, where no amount of Facetimes with mom can fill the hole left by a PCS. These can be triggered by holidays, or the entire holiday season. How am I coping this year? Allowing myself to know, there is no right or wrong way to celebrate the holidays.
At its core, Thanksgiving is about gratitude. I’ve had a year of ‘firsts.’ First move away from home. Our first home purchase made together. First time without a job. First pregnancy, and it’s created a beautiful and more adventurous life than I’d ever imagined. I’m choosing to be grateful this holiday season, for all of the changes made possible by becoming a military spouse. It hasn’t been without challenges. But at the end of the day, would I change a thing about my life as a military spouse?
Not a thing.
This morning I woke up from a text from one of my new best friends, Sofia. Her text was a screen shot followed by, “I think we should do this.”
She sent me a ‘30 days of Gratitude List.’ Her and I have decided to hold each other accountable and share our entries every day to show gratitude. If you’re like us, journaling is the cheapest therapy out there. But we don’t always make time for it. Her idea was inspiring, and I challenge you all to do something similar during your holidays as a military spouse. Even when facing the lowest lows, we likely have small things to be grateful for, like family , pets, a warm bed.
How this Military Spouse will be Celebrating Thanksgiving
As for Thanksgiving my husband and I are staying home. We have no family in a 800 mile radius, we have the friends we’ve made that have become our family. In talking with one of my closest friends here, they were planning on ordering food in. While my husband and I were looking forward to cooking massive amounts of food for two people. We decided to do a Friendsgiving between our two families – except this is our Thanksgiving, a holiday with our chosen family in a new home.
We’ve divided up the menu and are excited to share our own traditions with one another. While we were fine with having a Thanksgiving consisting of just us – my husband, our two dogs, and my very pregnant self, I am more of an extrovert when it comes to celebrating, and feel the need to be around people this time of year. It will be a Thanksgiving we never forget and I’m looking forward to the new traditions that holidays as a military spouse allows us to create.
How the Military Can Support You This Thanksgiving and Holiday Season
As with most questions I have about military life, I start by searching the spouse page. For more on this, see #4 on my list of 5 Things You Need to Do After Marrying Into the Military). Want to know the first post I found after searching ‘Thanksgiving’ on the spouse page?
This is the community we are a part of and the lengths spouses are willing to go for each other. And a reminder that you are never alone.
There are other options if you and your servicemember and family are looking forward to a quieter Thanksgiving this year. And you don’t have to do the cooking yourself! If there are ‘clubs’ at your installation, the Support Unit is likely offering pre-cooked Thanksgiving meals for a cost. Admittedly, I did not know that ‘clubs’ are open to any active duty or retirees, in addition to DOD civilians. Clubs have activities year round for families as well! Think of it like a Country Club – and those perks come with a membership fee. But for the sake of Thanksgiving, any military family can pre-order a ready-to-eat Thanksgiving meal from their local club. You can also pay a small fee for a meal on Thanksgiving! The menu at our Gateway Club looks delicious!!
Stop by your installation’s ‘club’ or check the installation’s Support Unit Facebook page for holiday events and opportunities. Ask your spouse what their Support Squadron/Unit is called (there will be a number attached) and search on Facebook. For example: ‘502 Support Squadron’ or whatever your branch’s naming convention is. They’ll have many holiday activities and even meal opportunities for your family.
Need support? Look No Further
The holidays as a military spouse are not always carefree for those experiencing hardships. Military families need to know there are resources that can give them the help they need. First, check in with your Military Family Support Center – they may have some local resources that can offer faster support. Or, see the resources below that can help no matter what your need is:
- Food/Meals: There are 10 states and dozens of installations directly supported by the Armed Services YMCA (ASYMCA). They support through food pantries, transportation, and thrift stores. Not in one of those states? Military One Source has put together an amazing list of over 1,600 food pantries that serve military families. They’ve even broken down how far these facilities are from military installations. See the list here for the food support programs’ list.
- DoD and USDA Food Support: For information on resources for your military family year round, like WIC, Basic Needs Allowance, SNAP, and much more, visit this list of resources from Military One Source.
- Toys/Gifts: Unfortunately, most of the programs that support holiday toys and gifts for military children have closed applications. This is because of the unprecedented amount of support needed by military families this year. Not unique to military children, Toys for Tots was founded by the United States Marine Corps in 1991. And depending on where you live, you can sign up to receive toys through a local chapter.
- Holiday Spirit: Would a Christmas Tree bring the holiday spirit to your home! How about one from Trees for Troops! See their installation delivery dates here:
Again for any other specific needs, I highly recommend talking to your installation’s Military Family Support Center. As a former non-profit director, I know that local non-profits are always hosting campaigns serving the community, including military families.
How YOU Can Support Military Members this Thanksgiving and Holiday Season
If you are in a place where you can give back to the military community this year, consider doing so!
There are SO many ways you can help fellow military members who might need some extra help this holiday season. Below are a few resources depending on how you want to give:
- Food/Meals:The Armed Services YMCA (ASYMCA) holds a holiday campaign to specifically address food insecurity among military families. Make a donation here.
- Toys/Gifts: Soldier’s Angels is a non-profit that offers ‘adopt-a-family’ support for the holidays. Donors can see what a family’s unique wish list is, and provide them with gifts. Adopt-a-Family here.
- Specific Needs: Operation Homefront is a non-profit that shares the needs of certain military affiliates and their unique goals. View their Urgent Needs list and give today.
- Support deployed members overseas: The USO (United Service Organization) provides Americans a home away from home in so many locations across the globe. During the holidays, some traditional festivities at a friendly location will make deployed service members feel close to home. Give here.
- Volunteer your time: Again, USO’s are crucial to supporting military members and their families year-round, but especially during the holidays. Any event I’ve gone to is run by USO volunteers, often with a military service or spouse history themselves. Consider donating time at the USO nearest you.
The holidays away from home can be hard. But they don’t have to be. Remember all that you are grateful for and do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Don’t be afraid to celebrate with friends. And if you are in a place to give? Giving is what the season is all about. Happy Holidays!
